Admitting that I had Daddy Issues was not the easiest thing to. Not having my Father in my life was hard. I have no memory of celebrating him on Father’s Day, actually; my fondest memory of him is going to ‘The Hub’ and buying push pop candy. He passed away when I was 7 going on 8 years. If you are navigating your own Daddy wound, I hope reading my story helps you in your healing journey. Here is more about my ‘Daddy Issues’.
A Childhood without a Dad.
It was hard!! Though I am grateful to everyone that played major roles in closing the gap, I still wished I had my Father in my life. Almost all my cousins had their Dads and watching how they interacted with them was always a trigger for me. Every time I got teased, I missed my Dad. When I had price-giving days at school, I would always imagine what it would have been like if he was still alive. I fostered close relationships with male figures in my life to try and fill the gap but felt rejected every time I got ignored or when they focused on their children more. It was difficult to navigate a childhood without a Father figure, this taught me to stay away from men; in fear of abandonment and rejection.
The “Daddy Issues”
It is only now, in hindsight that I can see how not having a Father negatively affected me as a young girl. Especially in the area of relationships. Dating was something that I was scared of doing but once I was in it and comfortable – I held on for dear life. I would tolerate verbal abuse and neglect all in the name of avoiding being abandoned. I mean, the abandonment that I felt from losing my Dad was hard enough. I was smart (I still am, haha) and beautiful (I did not think so then though) but I was broken. I believe that this is the reason why I started dating as a teenager and started having sex before marriage. This cuts deeper than words can explain, I was willing to give my body so that my body wouldn’t feel the excruciating pain it felt when I lost my Dad! I am grateful to God for the healing and for blessing me with a husband who reminded me that I am worthy of love and that I do not have to be insecure and try hard to keep the relationship even if it means denying myself.
Healing the Dad wound
What a journey!! I still feel like I am writing a movie when I speak about healing from my childhood. First is was healing the mother wound and now it is ‘daddy issues.’However, it is my truth and I am embracing it. I am grateful for the realization that I need to heal, I mean – my life is filled with blessings that I would ruin if I hold on to the pain. I am going to feel the feeling but I will not stay there because this life that God had blessed me with is worth living.
This is how my journey has been as a girl who had ‘Daddy Issues’, how are you navigating not having your Father or a Father figure in your life?
This is a n awesome write up. I dont have daddy issues but this will help so many young ladies out there to identify the daddy issues at an early stage or even help mothers who are raising children alone, to manage the daddy gap at an early stage. Thank you 👌🏾🌸
Thank you Kego. This is actually one of the reasons why I decided to share my story. Parenting and Motherhood require us to heal, sometimes they even trigger the healing process.